Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
