Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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