So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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