My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
