question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
