I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
