I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
