butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Your cock deserves a montage
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
