The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize