just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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