I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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