I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
