i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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