Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
