Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
