wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
