ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
