Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Are we still banned from the library?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize