speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
