so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
