this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
