K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
