you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
