There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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