I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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