big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
