Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
