My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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