Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
