that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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