also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My feet surprised me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
