beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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