You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
