Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
