What did we do last night that was yellow?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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