I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
