I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
