Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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