Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
