Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
