Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize