So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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