and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
