lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
