He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
