you mean i was at the winter classic?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
