3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
