do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
