I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
