He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
