How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
