3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
