By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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