adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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