I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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