I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
