forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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