I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
