you guys were way drunker than both of me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
