why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
