Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
